LaunchSquad’s Fifth Annual Thanksgiving Pie Bake-off
The much-anticipated fifth annual Thanksgiving Pie Bake-off promised fifteen pies, but delivered ten. There was not one plain old pumpkin in the bunch, but lots of bourbon. So much so that the Bake-off Committee regretted moving the date from a Friday to a Wednesday. Adding to the commotion were accusations that blue ribbon winner Brett Weiner, who would have been out-of-town for the original contest, bribed the committee members to change the date. Did he also buy some votes?
Let’s roll it out:
This year’s winner was Apple Pie with Walnut Crumble with a Rye Chaser baked by Brett Weiner and touted as traditional apple pie with a very big twist. “Anything with a walnut topping and a whiskey chaser gets my gets my vote,” said former Bake-off Committee member, Virginia Zimpel. Other bakers cried foul–maybe the tasters were too inebriated to know any better?
Meanwhile, in New York
LaunchSquad’s New York office also had an unsanctioned, rogue pie bake-off today, with Aly Gibson’s Caramel Apple Pie with Sweet Cream Topping taking top honors. Though the bake-off wasn’t officially OK’d by the Pie Bake-Off Committee, the competitive spirit of the original contest was certainly there. Said Gibson, “The sweetness of this pie is really the taste of my blood, sweat, and tears. … I am hardcore.”
Fellow New Yorker Miko Mercer called the pie “exquisite,” saying it was “the most complex pie of the bunch.” Mercer also added, however, that Aly was “a little intense” during the competition.
The rest of the pies at our home office broke down as such:
2nd Place
Pumpkin Cheesecake baked by Sara Schulte. A Bake-off Committee member was reprimanded for showing bias by lavishly praising the delicious pie (or is it a cake).
Tied for 3rd Place
Southern Pecan Pie baked by Tory Whitney. The quintessential pecan pie! Delicious.
Apple Bourbon Pie baked by Corey Lewis. While the lattice top crust was quite impressive, Baker Corey Lewis complained of his pie’s lack of sweetness. “I needed Washington apples,” he lamented.
Deep-dish Pumpkin Pie with Whiskey Butter cream baked by year-three winner Monica Miller. “Beautiful enough to sell in a bakery, but I don’t like pecans,” said the always-controversial taster, Jason Mandell.
Kentucky Derby Chocolate-Pecan Pie baked by Bake-off darling, Melissa Biles. ”Rich and scrumptious,” said an anonymous taster, “bring on the mint julips!”
Tied for 4th Place
The Pookie Pie baked by newcomer Steve Mnich. “We’ve never seen or tasted anything like this before,” said the Bake-off Official, Jason Throckmorton. “Is it a pie? Is it a cake? Is it a culinary nightmare?” The Pookie Pie was almost disqualified, however, the Bake-off Committee accused of working too closely with the LaunchSquad Kitchen KGB, decided to show some heart.
Pumpkin Apple Crisp baked by Aly Brady. “Not a pie, not a pie,” complained many bakers though the Committee interpreted it as a “crustless pie” with all the right components.
Tied for Last Place (only because the bakers showed some virtue and did not vote for themselves)
Maple Nut Pie baked by Greer Karlis, AKA the “trail-mix pie,” as some deemed it too healthy for LaunchSquad standards. The bake-off committee gave it an A for its colorful presentation and its healthy splash of booze.
The Yammer inspired by our favorite internal form of communication, Yammer, baked by first-time ever pie baker, Emilie Cole. Emilie complained that Martha Stewart’s instructions were too difficult and plans on using Rachael Ray’s 3-minute pie recipe next year.
Please also note that LaunchSquad pie recipes are not available to the public.
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Alex H.
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Corey
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Alex H.